A few weeks ago I sat down at my computer to start writing a blog post. As I opened up my computer I received a text message from a friend. I picked up my phone to read the message. I could not believe what I read. I was stunned. I read it again to be sure I read it correctly. I closed my computer. I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do.
A friend of ours died that afternoon.
What is the proper or correct way to react to or handle such shocking, sad news? Cry? Scream? Go numb? Tell everyone you know because maybe if I tell others it might seem more real or someone will tell me it’s not true?
Over this past year I have received that news quite a few times…that someone I know has passed away. I think my initial reaction is shock and disbelief. After that, I have no idea how I am supposed to feel or react. Is there a right or wrong way to grieve and mourn?
From my understanding, there are different stages of grief. There is no proper order in which one goes through the different stages of grieving, and everyone grieves and mourns differently. It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss. That is part of the healing process.
Grieving is the internal emotions that one feels with loss. Mourning is the external expression of the loss.
I feel sad for the loss of my family and friends. I share the sorrow and emptiness that they feel. I miss the ones that have passed. From time to time I am angry that the person is no longer here, especially at my Dad, who passed away a few months ago. It is not his fault he died. He could not have prevented it. It just happened, yet, sometimes I am mad at him for leaving us.
Not only do I need to grieve, but I also need to learn what is the proper way to support others who are grieving. Come to think of it, how do I allow others to support me in my grieving? I hadn’t thought of that before.
My heart is hurting for my good friend who recently lost her husband. I really want to help her go through her grieving and mourning process, whatever that is for her. I want to ease her pain but I know that is not something I can do. Only God can ease her pain with His presence and healing touch.
For those who have lost someone, I am sorry for your loss. I can’t image how hard the loss is for you. I feel as though the only thing I can do is pray and let you know that I am here to listen if you want to talk. For my friends and family, I am here for you if you need someone’s company.
I still don’t really know how I am to grieve and mourn the loss of a loved one. My heart aches. I am sad. I think writing this has been part of my mourning process. What are some ways that you grieve and mourn?
“There is a time for everything…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1a, 4)
I do not have answers to my questions. I know the older I get the more I will experience grief and mourning. I have a feeling it won’t get any easier. I am quite sure that I will be shocked and in disbelief. I will get through it and so will you. Then we will laugh and dance. That will be a beautiful thing.